On The Road to Self Discovery Embrace your Ugly: SELF LOVE

Shout it out: I LOVE MYSELF!!!

EMBRACE YOUR UGLY...
Embracing your ugly is about loving yourself completely even the things you really hate about yourself especially the physical self. I am no Tyra Banks but Tyra aint no me!
little story:
Sat at the front seat of a taxi once and i had my hand on my lap. Noticed the taxi driver looking at it and i hid it, i looked out the window disgusted with my hand and my self .
Out of no where BAM!!!
"i like you fingers, they are long with dark knuckles and your little mustache too. don't touch or hide it, its you"

speechless speechless that's how he made me feel!!!!!
what!!! this guy was not normal; told him so and he said "that's the weird thing, what you hate about yourself is probably what someone loves about you,it may be the only reason someone will look @ you twice"

mind you all this happened in TWI(local dialect) i would have written it as such but you aint ready for my shit!!! hahahahaha... can't handle it

Just like that without knowing me, In the middle of Makola on a very sunny day a taxi driver showed me self love; looked at my hand and suddenly it wasn't that bad!


My foto(i like to call my wingman Charles that, it drives him insane) and i went out to eat and he kept taking pictures,i wasn't really in the mood (honestly, i wasn't sure my make-up was in the mood) tried blocking my face with my hand and dude fell in love... with my palms(weirdo) the thing i hate most about myself.
i have such soft palms but the look like i crack stones for a living
but he really did like it... called it a photographers delight! he said some other day that everything that's weird and detailed about you is what makes you YOU, its beautiful and you need to see it. Beyonce is awesome and all but she aint got these palms! lol... yes she is dying from lack of such detail and texture.... LOL

Loving yourself is loving your creator; it's like saying God i wasn't there but you did a pretty good job. I'm liking what i see. So God, i love my dark feet, skinny frame, dark knuckles and knees, dry lips and everything you made and all that i messed up! most of these things i got from my family, i look at them and think they are beautiful so why should i see myself different..
I DEY PAP ROUGH!!!!

The Lens Affair: my true self

He said he loved my face and that was it for me and we have been going at it for a while. It's fun but most of all its enlightening. The lens doesn't lie, it shows you what you really can't see , things you refuse to see, and most importantly i guess what you weren't looking for, your true colours and truth . It's either you love it or delete it but you have to live with it; cry a river and get over it if you have to but certainly DEAL with it!!
With the time i have had with him, my dear lens has been true to me, brutal if you ask me. Whoever said truth hurts did not lie my friend, it does but when you face it, deal with it, its awe-wait for it- some!!! its beautiful

the object:Charles Mon-tage-gh.tumblr.com

the subject: identity

the writer: canon D600 (T3i Rebel)

I was talking and looking out of my office windows when he took this. i was there, the moment was nothing too special, we were talking about a subject i was passionate about but it was a simple moment till the lens caught it and it was worth more than a 1000 words
"what is freedom? the non-existence of bars and borders or the illusion that they do not exist." this comes to mind every time i look at this picture. someone asked what i was doing in prison when he saw this picture, in reality i was a free bird standing in front of a barred window; to keep out or to keep me in?.
We see what you want to see but truth be told nothing is ever really what it seems and no one is truly free.

Asa's Mr. Jailer keeps playing in my mind...

Am in chains you’re in chains too I wear uniforms, you wear uniforms too
Am a prisoner, you’re a prisoner too Mr Jailer

I have fears you have fear too I will die, you sef go die too
Life is beautiful don’t you think so too Mr Jailer!

Dear blogspot, do we really need to date?

Dear blog spot, do we really need to date?
The guilt is just too much! I wish you wouldn't keep the dates... sheesh! now every1 knows (thanks to you mr smarty pants put a calendar in it bright idea blog spot inventor person -_-) I'm inconsistent! Thank you -__-! do my fellow bloggers feel my pain?, then join me children of inconsistency and say NO to dated blogs.... hahahaha... I'm gonna bring my twitter habits here and start forming teams and movements. But in my defense all this isn't my fault. I have to live in order to blog about it right? so there, i was busy living(this is where you roll your eye and say "sure, whatever helps you sleep at night. I'll do my part and curse you under my breath)

The feeling is awful though, only 1 post in 2010 ans 2009, come on Shirlz... (I'm fighting the urge to make a promise as this comes so naturally to me at times like this) but i won't and just leave it at things have to change.

signed;
a miserable inconsistent blogger

why RED cos THIS IS WAR (best Spartacus voice)!! war on my inconsistency or blogspot's obsession with dates and post counts? that is the question...

Am I back?

So I did it again, made a promise and broke it; the story of my life! I wanted to get rid of this blog, start a new one, you know; show you guys the more matured young lady I think I am now.I couldn't, I can't because even though I think the girl who started this blog is dead and gone,was too emotional for my liking; i kinda miss her; she FELT!! I haven't felt in a while.
What's New?
same old crap mehn, life got harder love got smarter @ hurting and shit aint changed just different.
So no promises, I'll come here when i can, I'll be honest and I'll be real. I don't advertise this blog, I don't care if no one ever comes here; this is for me, my own little corner where i tell the story as i see it, no judgement no disapproval. Sometimes you just need a stranger to listen