death and all it's "nevers" a tribute to the dead parts of me; my cousins & uncle

I'll never see that smile again
I'll never hurt from his mistakes
I'll never rely on his strength again
this lack of him will drive me insane!!

I couldn't cry out loud
I was unheard through the megaphone of tears
Then in the silence of the night
when their well of tears had dried up
i broke down and created mine
and my tears sprung eternal
pumped by the "nevers" of his death
this lack of him emptied me.

o EUGENE, i miss you
come again and share your silly jokes
i wont mind if the jokes on me

o CHIEF, what happen to our dreams
i can't build a company without your plans
you were the blueprint to our dreams

o my dearest uncle
what will i tell your youngest son
that daddy took too many puffs
and got lost in the smoke
or daddy was the funniest man on earth

though people leave all the time
this time you'll NEVER come back
i can never show you my love!
you will never hear my apologies for
all the time i wasted, all the calls i missed, all the letters left unreplied

o Lord!! i miss them!
what will death do with them? did heaven need them more than i.
Rest In Peace fam!
and don't forget to send angels to take the pain away
this lack of you is eating me up!

i'm back!! .......The Big Reunion

Hey!!

(Shy smile) I’m back with a big bang, I’m back like I never left, I’m back …someone stop all these clichés!! LOOL!!!....

So it’s been a while and I miss this! I have never been so excited about returning to anything but this is definitely my 1^st maybe 2^nd love…. writing!! So a lot has happened since I last posted (obviously) but before I captivate you will my awesome life stories* dis is the part you roll ur eyes* I would like to make a promise! A promise to God to you and most importantly to me; to learn and practice the art of consistency!! I will not hit and run like before though it does not come naturally to me like French and accounting. I'm like the weather i change a lot, unexpectedly. Its not all bad but to be disciplined enough to stay with an idea, principle, emotion, activity is a blessing a gift that i must have in fact that i need so I will learn to be and I will be consistent!!!

So since my last post(let’s just say back then I had lost myself and I was going through a whirlwind of emotions, I haven’t found me yet but I’m enjoying the search party)here are some of the highlights of my life thus far....

• I turned twenty something (you really didn’t fink I was just gonna tell u, did u? it’s like dropping your pants on the 1^st date i might tell you but definitely not now)
  

• I lost my religion and I’m finding Jesus(God isn’t hidden but how can I find him stuck in darkness)

• life dished out a few red cards and I lost some of the greatest teammates(death and all its nevers)

• I’m in my last year of uni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow!!

• I kissed a frog and got a toad!!(I was tricked….prince’s don’t exist)

• I traveled!!! Yaaay!!! I’m officially a borga not just a one timer too(two)!! LMAO

• I am now a proud aunt of 5 rugrats…. A few more n we’ll have a football team (directing my siblings to the birth control counter) but I love my team, I will kill for does rats!!

• I have organized, DJ-ed, MC-ed, modeled, written, acted and still going strong…lol

• I have found and kinda lost some of the greatest friends ever!!!

• I found twitter and dumped facebook!! It was fun whilst it lasted

• I learnt to COOK and I’m damn good at it too!! (10POINTS for team obaapa)

• During our separation I have gone wild, gone mild, laughed and cried, done the undo-ables I can never take back, taken risk and won and many more which you’ll soon find out

This is a reunion between a writer and her pen (or in 2011 her keypad) and their love affair with words and hopefully together they find a bunch of reader who may turn out to be good friends or strangers passing through!! Who knows Life and its surprises?!!

So what do you wanna hear about first??..... I know!! So it was a couple of months…….(story fades into next blog) *wink